These past weeks I've been in a deep pit of depression. I never thought I'd reach to this point in my entire life. I am the optimist among my friends most times. I encourage, exhort, raise up, and always remain hopeful and joyful... I'm always told that it takes strength to smile even in the midst of trials. But these weeks I kept falling into the same traps everyday. I began to despise my existence for things I was partaking in... looking into lust-filled stories and photos, selfharming and looking in the mirror to see me..."the weakling" looking back into me... I began losing hope, losing faith... "how can God get me out of this mess?"... I felt lost for good and unforgivable... then the final blow hit... I did something directed at my baby sister...and then everything shattered..."that's it! I really AM a monster!"... I didn't know what to do anymore, I gave up... But then, yesterday...something almost miraculous happened...
 
It started out as an evening stroll down the street like any other stroll that I've taken. But, then I felt a drawing towards a steeple, to my left. I gazed at the cross on the steeple tower, feeling a drawing taking over me to walk over. I was hesitant, and I shook from head to toe, as I drew near to the lot, torn between entering in and running away. Something held me in place. This was the last place I wanted to be standing near... a baptist church. Now, don't get me wrong... I know some awesome baptists and there are some true Christians in baptist circles... but there also were some baptists that have inflicted some hard blows against me and my family... So, as I was about to turn to leave, somebody took a step out of the back door. So, having been spotted, I am led into the church, it wasn't what I expected. And to top that blessing, I ran into someone I knew in elementary school. So that brightened up my week...
 
And after starting back up my dailyaudiobible, and communicating with God, I feel the tunnel ending. God reached out to me through that church...Through the years He has reached out to me through photos, sermons, art, writings, and music of others, and friends, family, etc. He touches my cold and hardened heart, shattering it to pieces, after breaking me down, then He raises me up...  He's done this so many times... and being drawn to this church reminded me of where He has brought me out of... And though my mind still doubts if I really have Christ by my side at times... My heart knows where it stands. So, I've learned by experience that no pit is too deep for God's love to shine through...
 

My Prayer of the Day

Dear God, I'm afraid that I've gone too far deep into my darkness. I have a fear that when you return I'll be facing you and you'll tell me to depart from You. I fear that the things I keep doing will pull me completely away from Your mercy... I know that in Your word, You will not allow me to slip from Your love. You cannot love me more and You refuse to love me less... And when I sin, it breaks Your heart, but it never withdraws Your love... You died for me. There is nothing more powerful than Your sacrifice on the cross... Who do I think I am if I say I cannot be forgiven? Are my sins more powerful than Your love? No! You're greater still and Your love endures forever and ever into an infinity... You stand. Your love stands unchanged... Though my sins warp me and I'm constantly changing everyday... You are unchangeable... You are wonderful, You are incredible! You are the Eternal! You are. You are! YOU ARE! Forgive me for making myself out to be some tragic heroine... Forgive me for claiming full power over myself! I cannot even hold water in a firm grip...so how could I ever overpower You? forgive me for aiming to be an earthbound god... There is none over You! There is no other name, no other blood that can redeem our burdens and forgive us our sin... Who among us can best YAWEH the KING OF ANGEL ARMIES? No one. No one! You have bested our sins... But sin could never best You... I believe in You! Lord, help my unbelief! Reignite my heart! Recapture me! Revive me! In the name of Jesus Christ and by Your mercy guide me to return. Amen. [Source: Facebook Arianna Joy Schaffer] 

 

No Pit Too Deep by Arianna Schaffer (Scriptsmith) on Grooveshark

 

 
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