This week has been very stressful job-wise. It was one those impossible weeks where too many things had to be completed by an absolute deadline. I think I could have handled it very easily just a few years ago. However, with all the depression drawing me down into the deep, dark pit, I was almost paralyzed with the stress of it. My body, although really NEEDING sleep, would not ALLOW me to sleep. I dreamt about the work that had to be done. Believe me, waking up from a night where one has worked in dreams is very frustrating. It didn't do much for my depression, either. However, equipped with my trusty task list, I was able to finish designing the pens, ordering the pens, the tablecloths, and the pencils, designing the posters, and punch a lot of manipulatives (with the help of a co-worker). Not bad, I finished well, and on time. That's the great thing. The only problem is that the adrenaline keeps pumping through my body, which makes everything else worse.
That was work. Now think about how hard all that was, and just imagine what it's like to come home to a depressed husband, an unstable daughter, and the rest of the household. There is homeschooling to get through, dinner to eat, and a bunch of useless thoughts in my head of all the things I have to get done, worrying about how it's going to happen. I have a son who can't find a job, a budding teenager who is starting to have a lot of attitude, and then there is Arianna. Arianna is a lovely person, but she's not always happy, and she's often hard to deal with. When she's not depressed, and not overly manic, she's very pleasant to be around. When she's overly manic, she's irritable and quite argumentative. My husband takes the brunt of this, and it's very hard for him to deal with when he's depressed as well. This is just a picture of our normal. Well, it's been more intense lately than it usually is. Really, it's the truth.
However, even in the storm, there are the bright lights of friendship and laughter.
The first bright light was a skate-date with friends. My youngest daughter had a great time whizzing around the rink and spending time with her friends, while I sat and caught up with some of my friends. It was a great release. That was Thursday. Friday evening, our whole family drove up to the mountains to meet with two similar-minded geeky friends. All of us (the whole group) along with all of our children look forward to our geeky nights. Last night we laughed so hard over the silliest things. It was so therapeutic. There is nothing like friends who totally accept you regardless of your hangups, or weird mannerisms. It gives me hope for the journey. It helps lessen the darkness.
When I think of my friends who accept my family with all of our issues and weirdness, it reminds me of the love of Christ. Christ doesn't look the other way when I go into His presence. He embraces people like my daughter and totally accepts them. So many times people will ignore or marginalize such people, but you know what? God doesn't. He created me, He created Arianna, He created my husband, and He uses each us in ways we never dreamt of. My friendship with these geeky friends just mirrors Christ's acceptance and love. It was a slice of perfection, and it's enough to keep me going until the next gathering, and eventually the real gathering of Christ's bride. I can't wait!blog comments powered by Disqus